I like to think our theories on love, friendship and etc first come from our family, and especially our parents. But then we are exposed theories of our friends and even teachers. In the end we create a theory of our own but influenced by others or own experience. I also believe we get our ethics from our family like remember my mom telling me on the bus when I was younger to stand up if an elderly came on the bus. And I remember getting angry (im about 10) about the fact I have to give my seat up to someone else. As I got older though I began to understand the ethics my parents were teaching me, but like I said before there are many factor like friends and other family that influence us to do the things we do. There is the famous line treat others like you’d like to be treated, which for many is an ethic they were taught. For some though, it can just be easier to just let it go and have some humility.
Human motivation I believe comes from the fact we are trying to accomplish goals others and we have and having a impact on the world somehow. To leave an imprint so we are not forgotten when we pass away. To travel the world, to get a degree, to have a family are some of the accomplishments we have that motivate us to keep living to accomplish them.
My theory on friendship, is throughout our lives we gain friends from childhood, from school, when a teenager, adult and finally wise older person, making it that we have had many different friends depending on what we are living and experiencing and what we need/want of for a friend. But there are also friends for life, for example me and Amber were friends in Pre – k then lost touch but then met again in high school and it was like we were friends just yesterday not 10 yrs. I do distinguish my best friends from friends because I feel like my best friends have gone through the tough and happy times in my life and I’ve known them for a long while versus the friend I just talk to in class.
I also like drift away sometimes from usual friends to meet other people, to meet those outside my circle and create a connection with others out there. Friendships first begin with a connection of having things in common but then the differences I believe are what keep us together and make an interesting friendship. Because if not I’d probably get bored or sick of them after awhile if the reason “ why becoming friends is like loving a mirror.” – Andy. In friendship we also expect the other to be faithful and caring friend and not “ steal my BF or tell others my personal life, the usual drama, because then he/she isn’t really my friend. There is also friendship for ones benefits to get connections to go to baseball game or fashion show or to have around when don’t have anyone else. And in the working world this is recommended to get higher status and job. I remember my grand ma telling me once that my only real and true friend is God. And I think it is true but also think need friends that will physically not just emotionally help out.
Theory on love is that every single person has the same understanding of love and what we want of a lover but are always confused on what others want. Making a wall between people that doesn’t allow there to be love. Also people view different types of love, for example our parents if they are divorced, you wonder to yourself why do they not love each other no more? Making one think maybe love is but a played out theme in movies and not real versus the child living in a two parent family, they see it as unconditional love that parents might argue but in the end they work it out. There are many different situations of this but they all affect our view on love. Our friends impact our view on love too because you watch them go through relationships and the way they act, the way they treat their partner, and even ask for advice for your own relationships at times. But I believe no matter what whatever you do, you are the one who makes the final choice.
Gender can be difficult at times because usual thought on this is that females and males are two completely different species but aren’t we all human? There are always books helping guys understand the female brain or vice versa, are we really that different? Is this why it’s difficult to create friendships between males and females? I think it is possible to have a guy friend but at times there are things that come up between genders like he’d rather play sports and she wants to go shopping, or how lover can be your best guy friend making friendships between male and female end or become something else. There is also the view society has on women and men, men are supposed to bring the “bacon” home while women takes care of house and kids. Of course nowadays its can be different but this view is still there, which doesn’t make sense when there are more women attending college than men.
How do people live together? They blend and adapt to fit into their culture, neighborhood and many other settings in one’s life. Which goes back to months ago when we spoke of playing role and scripts in society to have an identity and receive affirmation of others.
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