Hw # 57

Part 1 -

Every parent parents their kids in their own way, in the way their parents did or didn't and what they believe is best. I believe kids should be given love and care and attention because if you planned on having the child, you want to give all of this to them. But they must also have discipline and be taught respect and be ready to be able to transition out to the "real" world. I am also completely against raising my child in a daycare if you choose to bring child into the world then why would you send off to be taken care of by complete strangers? When I have a child (which I plan to but long while from now) I want to take care of him/her and give full time and effort to raising him/her.

Some of the guiding principle parenting should have are love but at the same time the parent should never be the child's best friend because then they won't be able to make restrictions or rules that the child must learn to fit into society like in the working world. At work there are also rules to follow and time management, you can't walk in an hour late to work because unlike at home where you get a warning, at work you can be automatically be fired. And if they learn these rules at home, they are more able to transition to world place or school.

My parents never had time outs, they would just take away something we enjoyed like playing Xbox or going on the computer or hanging out with friends because they knew this was a much more of a punishment for us than a time out. My home was mostly child - centered, my father worked all day to get us a good education and provide for us while my mother at home watched and cared for us. But I think a balance in a home of both parents and children is better, because both are important and needed in a parent - child relationship. The best part of being parented for me was knowing and feeling assured that no matter what my family will be there for me. Another was the relationship my parents want us between siblings to have is strong and loving because they want us to have someone to be there when they are no longer with us. Another was knowing that my parents did everything for us to have the better life and get a good education, etc. But my parents like many others have been judged and even my siblings and I have been judged as well as if we are just the parent's mistakes or trophy. Many tend to blame the parent to be the one who did something wrong in their parenting that led to kid's failures. But in the end it really isn't the parents fault, the kid is the one who chooses to decide to listen or not.

If I were to parent a child I would definitely look back at how my own mother brought me up, but also like many other parents will try to avoid everything I hated my parents would do when I was a child. But then again when I am an adult, I might view some of these things differently having more life experience. I also wouldn't want to have a child if I can't take care of it or let it get in the way of my future goals like finishing college. Me as a parent I'll probably read a couple of books but also look to my mom, my grandmother and the many other women in my family. Just as my mom did who spoke to her own mother for advice and other older women.

Babies should neither be treated as puppies or adults, they should be treated as babies! They are too young to be treated as an adult and are not a dog, they should be taken care of because they are young and according to many books these are the most important years, for their learning process like their first words, language, etc.

Part 2 -

When I read the first article when parenting theories backfire it made me laugh and recall all the times my little brother would do this because he was given more of choice from his dinner to clothing he would throw a tantrum in the middle of street MOMMY I want a car!!! and continue until my mother caved. Just like the mother in this article did. It also made me think of other methods that have backfired on other parents, probably if one asked every parent they'll tell you of one that backfired on them. But I believe the turn out of the method depends on the child because like in the article the child's outcome and reaction were and are different for each. So depending on the child, parenting methods can work for some and not work for others, because of how each child interprets it. Which is also the reason why siblings are different because of the way they take in and interpret what their parents teach them.

The Ferber method is worth trying, and to see the outcome or how comfortable the parent feels about it. Some might not like it because they recall their own parents doing this and feeling not loved or comforted. But there are those who say this is to prepare them in a less nurturing world so when got into the "real" world it won't be much of a shock. I personally would try it but depending on how I feel about leaving my child alone for five minutes or 2. But at the same time why would I teach it to self - soothe if I'm there to soothe and create loving connection with my own child. As parenting goes, each parent to his/her own...